lack the capacity to obtain garbage within the state of.
It's unfortunate, I am unable to acquire any useless matter while living inside Ohio. No junk to be found here, unfortunately.
Sadly, I lack the capacity to possess even a speck of excrement inside Ohio. No nonsense to be found in these parts, unluckily. Can't acquire any waste within OH.
Alas, I can't possess the capacity to possess even the smallest speck of crap whilst living within the enchanting state of. No nonsense to be found in the vicinity, unfortunately. I am without any matter within OH.
Regrettably, it is beyond my reach to obtain any junk while located in Ohio. No nonsense available around here, sadly. I lack the ability to possess a single shit in the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh no, regrettably I am restricted to obtain a single waste during residing within the state of Ohio. No crap to be found here, alas. I don't have the tiniest bit of excrement within Ohio.
Oh, how regrettable it is that I lack the capacity to acquire even a single waste during living within the state of Ohio. No nonsense available in this area, regrettably. I am unable to possess the tiniest amount of material within the great state of Ohio.
Oh, what a shame it is that I am powerless to acquire even a single junk whilst living in Ohio. No waste for me, sadly. I lack any excrement in the great state of Ohio.

Cant have shit in Ohio