Can't obtain junk in Ohio.
Unfortunately, I lack the ability to obtain a single useless material whilst staying within the great state of. No junk for me, sadly.
Unfortunately, I can't acquire a single excrement in the state of. No garbage available around here, unfortunately. Unable to obtain junk in the great state of OH.
Sadly, I'm missing the aptitude to obtain a single waste while living inside Ohio. No rubbish available in these parts, regrettably. I am missing any feces within OH.
Sadly, it is beyond my control to have even a tiny bit of rubbish while located in Ohio. No waste to be found in this area, unfortunately. I can't have a single feces within the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh dear, sadly I am restricted to acquire even the smallest amount of crap whilst living within the state of Ohio. No crap for me, unfortunately. I lack even a trace of excrement in Ohio.
Oh, how unfortunate it is that I can't to acquire the slightest bit of shit while living inside the state of Ohio. No nonsense to be found in Ohio, unfortunately. I am unable to have even a trace of waste in the great state of Ohio.
Oh, what a pity it is that I am powerless to obtain even a single junk during living within Ohio. No waste for me, sadly. I am unable to obtain the tiniest bit of excrement within the great state of Ohio.

ɐ͎ʞ͎ć͎ı͎ɹ͎ɐ͎ɯ͎ on Twitter Can’t have shit in Ohio