haven't got the ability to own garbage in Ohio.
It's unfortunate, I am unable to acquire a single useless material whilst living within Ohio. No garbage to be found here, unfortunately.
Regrettably, I lack the capacity to acquire even a speck of feces inside Ohio. There is no crap to be found in these parts, unluckily. Lack the ability to own nonsense within Ohio.
Alas, I am devoid of the aptitude to obtain even the smallest speck of waste while living in Ohio. No junk to be found in these parts, sadly. I am without even a trace of dung within OH.
Alas, it is beyond my reach to have any junk while located in Ohio. No junk available within Ohio, regrettably. I lack the ability to own even a speck of shit inside the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh dear, unfortunately I am constrained to obtain a single crap during living in the state of Ohio. No waste in my possession, sadly. I am unable to obtain even a trace of substance inside Ohio.
Oh, how unfortunate it is that I lack the capacity to have the slightest bit of shit while staying within the state of Ohio. No garbage to be found in Ohio, regrettably. I have no means to have any waste within the great state of Ohio.
Oh, what a shame it is that I am powerless to have the slightest bit of waste during staying within Ohio. No crap to be found here, unfortunately. I lack even a trace of excrement in the great state of Ohio.

Can't Have Shit In Detroit Traumacore