Can't possess nonsense within Ohio.
It's unfortunate, I lack the ability to acquire a single valueless matter while staying inside the great state of. No garbage in my possession, sadly.
Regrettably, I am unable to acquire a single rubbish inside the state of. No nonsense to be found in these parts, unluckily. Lack the ability to own nonsense in the great state of Ohio.
Alas, I'm missing the aptitude to possess a single waste while staying within the Buckeye State. No garbage to be found around here, unfortunately. I am without any substance inside Ohio.
Alas, it is not within my capabilities to acquire any crap while in the state of Ohio. There is no crap to be found in this area, unfortunately. I can't have a single shit inside the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh dear, regrettably I am constrained to acquire any waste whilst residing within the state of Ohio. No waste in my possession, alas. I don't have any of dung within Ohio.
Oh, how regrettable it is that I lack the capacity to possess even a single feces while living in the state of Ohio. No garbage available in this area, unfortunately. I am unable to have any excrement in the great state of Ohio.
Oh, what a shame it is that I am incapable to acquire any garbage during staying inside Ohio. No garbage to be found here, sadly. I don't have even a trace of feces in the great state of Ohio.